New Jesus

So the new Jesus is erected in Monroe. Although nowhere near as big, cool or funny as Touchdown Jesus… (RIP) let the naming commence :p

Hug me Jesus? Molester Jesus? Creed Jesus?

But my favorite? $5 FOOT LONG JESUS!!!  Lol im going to hell…

Dear Alcohol…

** I randomly logged into my Myspace account (i know i know, don’t judge. I didn’t remember the password if that brings a little bit of dignity back) and went through some old blog posts there and decided to bring a few gems to this site as well. Enjoy **

Dear Alcohol….

First and foremost, let me tell you that I’m a huge fan of yours.

As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you’re even around at the holidays (hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we’re stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings).

However, lately I’ve been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone Calls and text messages: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation after 2 a.m. can have much substance or necessity. Why would you make me call my ex’s? Especially when I know, for a fact, they DO NOT want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night.

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal. But, why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with wine & topped off with a Kit Kat AFTER a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I’m an eclectic eater but, I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you’re subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer this issue home by causing me to fall down. It’s completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop! This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening’s debauchery may be in order. But, the 3 p.m. hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out (face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn or wherever). The hangover should be minimal and in no way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You’ve been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don’t know what to do with the extra money in my pockets.

In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above and address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Friday 3 p.m. (pre happy hour) on your possible solutions. And hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,

Your Biggest Fan

P.S. Please take a moment or two and note the following items below that I think may be of some interest to you.

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-..Aggressive Disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn’t. No one wants to hear me sing.

Halloween

Ok, so if you don’t know me by now… I’m kind of a Halloween freak I live for this holiday! But this year I’ve been a little off… I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t really had the money to go shopping, or maybe because my fiance has done all the grocery shopping before he goes to work. I haven’t bought a single Halloween decoration this season! Tonight that will change… just wait.

But I didn’t even decorate as much as I normally do though either. The stuff was out in like 15 minutes tops. My fall leaves are still tucked away, my big light up spiderweb isn’t in the window, cauldrons still in the box. Maybe it’s because I’ve been sick as hell all last week, with my allergies acting up the worst they’ve been since I was in jr. high! Or maybe I’ve just been so preoccupied with my house hunt that I haven’t really gotten into it. Or the wedding planning. Or maybe I didn’t have any big/new/far away haunted houses to go to and look forward to. Or maybe because I didn’t have a bunch of people to go with all the time to Kings Island for their Haunt. Who knows. But its kinda depressing.

But I did make the most of it, even in the funk I seemed to be in. Friday night was my last night doing makeup at the Springboro Haunted Hayride and Black Bog. Sad. I did have a blast making everyone all scary looking, and a few of those guys loved the blood… and I love covering people in it

And after that it was off to a girls night at Kings Island! The boy tagged along long enough to go through the 2 houses he hadn’t done yet (Urgent Scare and Carnevil) I’m willing to put money on the fact that Carnevil is no longer there next year. It’s one of those trippy neon clown mazes that you’re supposed to wear 3-D glasses in… except the greedy Cedar Fair people were charging you a dollar for them! when they used to give them out and recycle them, and reuse them. 1. Not worth it for one trip through. 2. the house sucks without them. 3. going downhill like this is one of the reason I couldn’t work there anymore. All the fun was sucked out of working But we all made the most out of it, and I got to see my old co-workers, and even got a ride on Racer in and a glorious fogged filled ride on Diamondback and Beast. Where you literally could not see the track in front of you from the 2nd seat, until you were at the tops of the hills. I loved it!

The girls all trying to stay warm

Saturday night was my parents annual OSU Chilifest! Its a Saturday in which the Buckeyes are out of town, in October (we had it late this year) and our backyard is full of tents and tv screens, and lawn chairs, and even a bar! Everyone brings a bowl of chili to feed the family and we combine it into one big roaster. My huge extended family comes over, all the neighbors, and even some of the old neighbors who have moved away! It’s a great crazy time full of games, a poker tournament, and normally someone in one crazy get up.

Forgive the crappy dark phone camera. But you get the idea with the huge projection screen, and another small tv, and the lights and seats and heaters, etc. And this is only half the tent...

The garage with 3 different food tables, and 2 fridges, and you can see one roaster full of chili on the right, and the fridge with tv #7 or so, has all the different games that go on during thee game.

Too many beers or jello shot, or pudding shots, or whatever the neighbors were throwing at us, made for a late morning… ok… ok, early afternoon. But then I got to help pass out candy to the trick or treaters! Yay! My youngest brother is a senior this year, so he brought up all the costumes that were in a huge basket from the basement from over the years to try to make one. I know, you’re going “But he’s a senior! He’s too old to go trick-or-treating!” Not true. Every year, since my senior year, the senior civics class has gone trick-or-treating…. for canned goods… for the food pantry It’s a great philanthropy project, and those that want to dress up can, and about half of them do. And normally when you stop at the little old ladies houses they ask if you’re there for cans or candy… the correct response is both! I don’t know how he did, but I know I made bank in the candy dept back then!

Boo as Super-Chicken-Cow!!! and our neighbor as Super Woman. Funny thing? It was totally unplanned. Too bad they weren't in the same class to go around together.

Then it was off for home, but a stop for dinner at Applebee’s (only cause we had a gift card) and then we met some friends at Dent Schoolhouse. Dent is my 3rd favorite haunted house, after Lewisburg cave, and Haunted Hoochie in Columbus. I love that its actually haunted And I love that they seemed to make some major changes to it, and almost made it longer? It was definitely a good time. Even if I did have a younger one trying to take my arm off

"Carrie" before

And then yesterday was Halloween! It’s depressing that I can’t even dress up a little bit for work It’s not like anyone else sees me! And I think it would help some people loosen up. but I instead opted to don my old prom dress and my old college homecoming tiara, nix the blood and just go with the prom queen/princess/beuty queen/whatever the kids decided I was that night. It was originally Carrie from the “Carrie” movies, but I decided to be nice to the kids. Last year I only got maybe 5 kids that made it up the hill to me. This year I totally ran out of candy in an hour. But that made me happy

Yesterday was also a great day in Ohio for another reason…

Yuengling debutes in Ohio!!

It’s such a good beer… and the four of us so should have not gotten 2 pitchers… it is interesting to see who carried it and who doesn’t last night. I figured the Molly Malone’s chain would, but nope. The tiny dive bar Gas Light Cafe in Pleasant Ridge did! (Neon’s won’t get it until tonight… booo…) and the stores won’t have it until the 14th. I believe Arnold’s has it already as well. So go, drink up, enjoy and hope everyone had a great Halloween!

I’m going to enjoy the sunshine in Disney this weekend So a few posts might bombard you.

Crazy busy weekend in Cincy

Ok so the past few weeks, I was all looking forward to this weekend, and relaxing as I had absolutely nothing planned. But now? Oh now… There is not going to be enough hours in the day to cram everything in. So if you’re like me, come, join in my insane misery

Option #1:

Taste of Blue Ash

Yes this event is similar to Taste of Cincinnati, only more locally focused. Yes there will be amazing food and lots of it, but thats not the draw. The entertainment, is what I will going for. Friday @9pm is Pat Benatar, so ladies, this would be a great girls night out. Saturday @9pm is REO Speedwagon. You can find me front and center for that concert! and Sunday @7:30 is Creedance Clearwater Revisited. This is going to be my first time out, and it sounds amazing!! And best of all?! The concerts are FREE!!

 

Option #2

Brew Ha Ha

This is another first for me. But from what I hear, it involves, lots of beer, and lots of laughs. It’s held at Sawyer Point on the River, and it boasts 50 Comedians on 3 stages and 100 beers.  Friday Night @9 is Bert “The Machine” Kreischer. Again, this is where I will be. If you’ve never seen him live, or are a fan of his “Bert the Conqueror” show on Travel Channel, GO! He’s freakin hilarious! Saturday night @9:50 is Caroline Rhea. And yet again, the beer samples will cost you, but the Comedy is FREE!!

 

Option #3

Summer Music Series

Fountain Square is already one rocking place to be. Throw in Free concerts and a great urban setting, and you got yourself a party!

 

Option #4

Germania Society’s Oktoberfest

No this is not the big Oktoberfest Zinzinnati. This is the Slightly smaller, slightly more authentic Oktoberfest at Germania Park on Kemper Road. It may not be the huge drunken party, but you can make sure the liederhosen still fit from last year, and get an early start on the festivities That and they have Spaetzel nom!

 

Option #5

Grease at the Drive In!

Holiday Auto Theatre is located in Hamilton. If you’ve never gone, you are missing out!! Occasionally this place has good ol throw back weekends. This weekend would be one of them… kinda. The first movie is Spy Kids 4million (or something like that) @ 8:30 but then @ 10:30 They’re going old school and showing Grease! I mean if you love or hate the movie, you gotta admit it would be awesome to see it like in the movie! (Just don’t ditch your date ) Trust me, I went and saw The Wizard of Oz at 20 Century theater in Oakley thanks to Watch This, and it was magnificent to see on the big screen! Although I’m not sure if more kids/teens or more grownups will be singing along.

 

Will I make it to everything? Probably not… But I will definitely be checking out Bert on Friday, and REO on Sat, and i really really wanna get out to see Grease

Beware of Zombies

For those that haven’t heard, another electronic road sign in Kentucky was hacked in Lexington, this time for the Harry Potter Premier.

Personally I think this shit is hilarious!!! As long as no one is getting hurt or you’re taking off an important message. Like a few weeks ago heading into Cincinnati Motorists were greeted by Zombies Ahead!

This sign merely warned motorists of Nightly Lane Closures, which really was no significance at 7am. And from the comments around the article, motorists got a good chuckle and it brightened their dreary Thursday morning just a little bit.

I had actually stumbled upon a blog post about 3 months back that I had saved to reblog, and now is as perfect time as any. It actually spells out how incredibly easy it is to hack these.

*I DID NOT TAKE THESE, NOR ATTEMPT IT AND I IN KNOW WAY CONDONE THIS! Just wanted to put the information out there that is not exactly.. lets say.. idiot proof….*

http://ohmyshit.com/2010/11/20/how-to-hack-an-electronic-road-sign/
Again, if their lighthearted and not posing any real threat, I think their great! I mean how many people really pay attention to these things? I had at least 3 people on my twitter stream that drove by that sign that morning, with the “Zombies Ahead” on it and they didn’t even notice it. I think Kentucky needs to have a laugh with the rest of us and enjoy it for the fun light heartedness it was meant to be taken as.

My Brief TV Stardom

About a month ago, before the amusement parks were fully opened to the public, I took a Friday off of work, piled in a friends mini van and took off for Santa Claus, Indiana way too early in the morning on a day off. Why you ask? Because we were a crazy enough bunch to get our little “coaster family” chosen to be extra’s on the Travel Channel show Bert the Conqueror!

Bert and Dan Koch, HolidayWorld President, before being sent off on the Voyage. Photo courtesy of Travel Channel.

Bert Kreischer, is a comedian and Host of his own show, in which he Conquers his fears by doing different, crazy stunts. On a sunny, yet still sort of chilly spring weekend, he traveled to Holiday World in Santa Clause, Indiana to conquer The Voyage roller coaster, as well as Wildebeest, the water coaster. And myself along with a bunch of fellow coaster enthusiast friends, were there to cheer him on.

Our crazy group with Pat Koch of HolidayWorld, early in the morning in front of Voyage

We were told right off the bat, and for the few weeks heading up to it, that there would be waiting, as everything is dependent on the camera crew and getting their shots. They told us to bring all sorts of stuff! I smartly brought along a blanket I was crocheting and already that morning, an hour after being let into the park… we were still waiting.

Bert going over some specifics with Pat... or just flirting with her

Finally it was time to load up some trains! And wait in those said trains…. more photo ops!!

Notice the camera guy in the background checking feeds and odds and ends and whatsits while we waited.

Part of group chillin in the back seat... which seat do i take?? (sorry >.< )

I really wish this came out better but thats Bert and Dan Koch (from at top) on their ride, notice the camera mounted in the front seat.)

 After only one ride for everyone (almost a few people still hadn’t gotten a ride) it was time to break for lunch. HolidayWorld was awesome and provided a great spread of pizza and desserts for all of us “working hard”. They were very gracious hosts! Free food free Voyage rides, free hanging out with Bert, and a free ticket to come back and enjoy the park when it was actually open to the public! This is part of the reason I love this place.

After lunch it was time for a little Q & A and meet and greet with Bert! For the record, if you’ve never seen is stand up comedy show, go see it! He’s hilarious and a real down to earth person. What you see on the show is pretty much him (well actually its a little more tamer family friendly version) But he really is a great guy!

Me and Steph with Bert. (She's madly in love with him btw)

Coaster Family shot with Bert!!!

He was great and really took the time to talk to everyone there and get pictures with whoever wanted them. Much to the exasperation of the production manager who would have to tear him away from time to time. To let everyone’s stomachs settle before more rounds on Voyage, they did the interviews next. A few of our friends were interviewed while the rest of us were to inconspicuously walk through the background once or twice to make the park seem open even though it wasn’t.

butt cheeks were shakin!” (Sorry Brad I had to) Notice the crowd on and off camera.”]

Brad being interviewed, even though he "was so nervous [his

Dave's crew being interviewed. Unfortunately they didn't make it on air either for either 1. knowing just too much about the coaster or 2. The little girls that were being annoying in the background and staring directly at the camera even though they were told to ignore them *sigh*

Finally it was time to ride again. Only this time with no camera on board, and no Bert This was more waiting as after every train or 2 the cherry picker back in the woods would have to move to a new position to get all those awesome shots and angles of the coaster. This is also when Bert did some talking about the coaster, and talked with the Koch’s.

Me and my "coaster boyfriend" gearing up for an intense front seat ride! Winning!

Awesome shot of us headed back for the station fly-by

Me and Steph and the gang ready for ride 3, or 4, or 6. We kinda lost count

Just minutes after the above pic was taken we whooshed by Bert. Photo credit of HolidayWorlds HoliBlog.

All in all it was a great way to spend the day with great friends doing what we love! If you caught the show last night, yes most of the shots with us were cut (booo ) but its to be expected. But the bonus is is that if he comes around again to shoot another time I’ll be able to do it since i really didn’t get any camera time!

We did manage to slow mo the show after we watched it to really zero in on us, and those pictures of a paused tv are as follows. So if you DVR’ed it you’ll know what to look for The awesome thing is most of the bright pink you see on the coaster shots are all of me and my friend Steph

3rd seat the blur of pink and red

3rd seat the blur of pink and red

I'm easy in this one. I'm in between the guys in red

Close up of the previous pic.

Another quick shot of us all.

Here's one I missed that I guess they showed at the begining. This area got a lot of face time, but they always managed to cut me out of it

I think one of my favorite parts of the whole show last night was when Bert came back and was talking about a bug hitting him in the face. I’m not kidding you this went on for 20 minutes in the station. We were all cracking up and rolling on the floor.The best part? They actually found that part on video and pointed it out!!

"a BUG it my FACE!!" lol

Which leads to this shot that I'm also in the back of

Close up of previous

So that was my very brief stint at stardom. Sure I wasn’t on for more than say 20 seconds total. Was it worth it? Totally! I got to lap one of my favorite coasters, with some of my best friends, get out of work, mingle with celebrities, and enjoy part of one of the best amusement parks ever! Seriously, if you’ve never gone to HolidayWorld, get there! Its only like a 3-4 hour drive, free parking, free sunscreen, free drinks, and the nicest awesomest people will you ever encounter!

Sh*t my Boyfriend Says

Ok so I’m really slacking on these posts… But I have a few from this past weekend… or 2 or 3 ago. I’ll warn you now, these are not meant to be taken badly. I swear!!

Number 1. At my friend Em’s wedding the boy and I were sitting with another friend and her hubby, and we kept making fun of whoever it was that was drinking water at the time (since we were all driving back to our houses that night)

J: “We turn beer into water… and water into wine! Winning!”

 

Number 2: and this is my big disclaimer that that this is not meant to be taken the wrong way at all!!! (as we all know there are people out there…)
Anywho we were discussing our future children (for whatever reason) and I’m not sure how we got on the subject, about how I’m hoping our kids don’t take after him right out of the womb (as he’s 6′ 6″) which somehow lead to me mentioning somehow about the baby coming out black

J: “If the baby is black then we ave way bigger issues babe….”
Me: “But there’s African in my family!! Way… way back in my family…”
J: “5 generations back does not count!! We know it wouldn’t take after BOTH of us”
Me” But what about Albinos? They technically don’t take after their parents!!”
J: “Albinoism is a genetic defect!! Blackatism is not!!”

In which case led to a discussion of someone Googleing it…

 

And on a random note… we did our first wedding registry yesterday! And yes I’m well aware that it is 80% entirely too early… Don’t care, I can only put so much stuff off until my sisters wedding at the end of July. OH! And I’m going wedding dress shopping next weekend yay!

Day 30 of 30 Days in Photos

Day 30 – A picture of someone you miss

My Rugby Girls

Krazies...

Nice Normal friends....

... and then the little more normal side

<3

I miss the time I lived in England, and need to get back to visit ASAP. I still talk to a lot of the Brits and Amerians alike, altho I feel we really need to get together and have another camping trip A bunch of complete strangers, thrown together, and yet the closest group of people ever.

And now that thats done (and yes I know it took more than 30 “days”) But between work and computer problems, and road trips, and my ADD I just got sidetracked ). I was going to give up on (like all those times theres like a week between posts) but I always give up on things and this shouldn’t have been that hard, and thats why you got all flippin 30… in like 3 months

I now return you to your regularly scheduled blog

Day 29 of 30 Days in Photos

Day 29 – A picture that can always make you smile

This is from my friend Meg’s wedding. We had such a blast being stupid and crazy up until the whole process, ok including the wedding. I love the guys for the most part “attempt” at photobombing. It just cracks me up

Day 28 of 30 Days in Photos

Day 28 – A picture of something you’re afraid of

Since I can’t post a real picture of them… *shudders* I’m going to post some from a far superiorly awesome blogger, Allie

True Story….