Sh*t my Boyfriend Says

Ok so I’m really slacking on these posts… But I have a few from this past weekend… or 2 or 3 ago. I’ll warn you now, these are not meant to be taken badly. I swear!!

Number 1. At my friend Em’s wedding the boy and I were sitting with another friend and her hubby, and we kept making fun of whoever it was that was drinking water at the time (since we were all driving back to our houses that night)

J: “We turn beer into water… and water into wine! Winning!”

 

Number 2: and this is my big disclaimer that that this is not meant to be taken the wrong way at all!!! (as we all know there are people out there…)
Anywho we were discussing our future children (for whatever reason) and I’m not sure how we got on the subject, about how I’m hoping our kids don’t take after him right out of the womb (as he’s 6′ 6″) which somehow lead to me mentioning somehow about the baby coming out black

J: “If the baby is black then we ave way bigger issues babe….”
Me: “But there’s African in my family!! Way… way back in my family…”
J: “5 generations back does not count!! We know it wouldn’t take after BOTH of us”
Me” But what about Albinos? They technically don’t take after their parents!!”
J: “Albinoism is a genetic defect!! Blackatism is not!!”

In which case led to a discussion of someone Googleing it…

 

And on a random note… we did our first wedding registry yesterday! And yes I’m well aware that it is 80% entirely too early… Don’t care, I can only put so much stuff off until my sisters wedding at the end of July. OH! And I’m going wedding dress shopping next weekend yay!

$#!* my Boyfriend Says

So I’m in love with the show Sh*t My Dad Says, after loving excerpts that I read from the book. And after watching it last night I looked at my self and said “Self, You have friends that are just as wierd and cracked out as Shatner. And they’re all freaking hilarious!” and then my voices started argueing and anyways… I’ve decided to do a weekly weekendy $#!* my friends say post. Some of these may come from way back, but they were so good that of course I remember them! And some may come from college and our infamous quote wall we had senior year. And some of these will come from my boy who randomly spurts things out of his mouth without even realizing or thinking about them, which of course would probably not be quite as hilarious.

 

So without further ado I give you the first!

While on a roadtrip to Niagara Falls/Canada’s Wonderland theme park in Toronto, we’re driving into Canada late at night and in the middle of absofuckingnowhere. (note: never go up the thumb of Michigan and over the Bridge into Canada. Or at least fill up in Detroit. There is NOTHING).

2am (rough abridged version):
Me: Wow, So Canada looks exactly like BFE (BumF8ckEgypt aka middle of absofuckingnowhere for those not hip with rural slang) Ohio… Did we even cross the border?!

BF: I know right?! It’s like Canada’s the 51st State!

Me: Wait when did Canada become a state?!

BF: The same time Pluto became not a planet.
I think that line saddens me after I’m done laughing about it… but I’ve said screw it. When I have kids, they will know about Pluto and it’s awesomeness!! I will make them watch the Saved By the Bell Episode full of Screech’s MvemjSNUP! (omg my kinked hair and stretchy pants with scrunchy socks are showing). I still don’t feel all up to the whole not a planet thing. I mean who are we to cast Pluto aside like a one-night stand!